Tuesday, March 17, 2015

[Challenge] Day #12

Life is complicated. So, I choose DRAMA/MISFORTUNE as today's theme.

Here we go for a complete prompt:
Location: You are at work in a downtown corporate office
Complication: You are diagnosed for misdiagnosed with cancer
Emotions: You are feeling depressed about your situation
Detail/twist: You decide to take a permanent vacation to escape your troubles

Without further ado, here is my story:

Title:
Wrong Conclusion
                I stare to the blue sea and bright blue sky with bored eyes. What is the meaning of life? I want to find that what is the real purpose of my life? But, will I have the time to do that? I don’t believe that my life is short. I can’t accept that news. I never do anything wrong—I follow the rule, help the people, respect my parents, never judge, never grudge, and I always living in healthy way—but, why that still happen to me?
                I look to the blue sky and white clouds. It seems bright—so different with my feeling and life now. It is like the sun is mocking and teasing me. I sigh for an umpteenth time. “Urgh, I can’t believe this.”
                I remembered the day I got the news. The news that made my life turning upside down. It made me upset, regret, angry, furious, and scared. Until then, I never think about my future because I thought I have so many times ahead and I can enjoy and relax my life. I don’t know how a piece of paper can change all of my perspective, goal, and purpose in my life. Because, I know, that time, my life will never be same again.
                I am a dead man. I have a limited time. And, the worst, I never know how long I can endure and live with optimist and cheerful feeling. I never believe in God before, but at that time, I blame Him. I am mad with Him—because He gives me that ‘illness’. He makes me feel helpless. He doesn’t give me a choice. Until now, I still can’t accept this. The words in that paper:
                “You are diagnosed with breast cancer.”
                I look down to the sea. The ripple of the water was made by a ship. I imagine the deeper of sea and think. If it will hurt to drown in the water? Will I death more peacefully than to have a cancer treatment? It will so easy to die from drowning. I won’t feel anything and feel sick. I heard much news about a side effect of cancer treatment—hair losses, loss of appetite, nausea, vomit, and the worst of the feeling is a feeling of helplessness. I don’t like that feeling. I always want to organize myself and I don’t like to feel a state of helplessness. I never want to feel that stare—a stare of pity—I really hate that.
                “Will I find the happiness in that new place? Will I forget my state of health in that new environment? Will I find the meaning of life?”
                I asked to myself those sentences ever since I decide to move out from my hometown. I am sick to have that pity stare. I only need them to act as normal as possible—similar to what the do before they knew the diagnosis. I don’t want a special treatment. I still the same. I still can do my work. I can help them like before. And, most of all, I still have a feeling as a healthy people. Why can’t they understand that? Why give me a stare like I will dead tomorrow? I am alive. I don’t give up my life. I still do the best. Why they don’t understand that?
                “I am alive now and I still want to alive.” I yelled to the sea and for a moment, I can feel my body better than a past two months.
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Write and Write. It all you need as the first motivation.


TWELVE DAYS AND STILL WRITING WITH ENTHUSIASM


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